Q: When did you decide to found the Forever Friends Network? (Did you ever think that it would help so many people?)

A: “I was previously on a non-profit board. But, unfortunately, the organization dissolved. So the kids looked to me to start something new. Everyone would always say to me, “you can’t get rid of this group, you need to keep it!” So, in 2016, I decided to pursue it and become my own nonprofit. I began to brainstorm names with my son, who has autism, and then one day we came up with ‘Forever Friends Network.’ And it just stuck. At that moment, the organization was born. I always knew that I could not stop providing a place for these kids to go! And at that time, we didn’t even have a center. Instead, we used rooms in a school.

No, I only expected about 10-15 families to get involved. But, now, we service over 75 families! Some days I cannot believe how large we have become! I often think that we are just a small, autism organization in Lapeer… but a lot of people keep reaching out to me! The word must be getting out somehow! Every day I am amazed that my organization is still here, despite the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m so blessed and grateful every day that we’re still open.”

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Q: How has the COVID-19 pandemic affected you, Brandon, and the Forever Friends Network?

A: “There have been many challenges during the pandemic. First of all, my son relies on consistency and schedule. But it can be very difficult to provide that for him. Additionally, he loves to go to school! So it was extremely difficult for him when schools closed. He struggled a lot at first, especially mentally. He even reverted back to a lot of past behaviors. But now that school is open again, he is starting to become his happy self again.

As a mother, it’s been very difficult because I feel as though a lot of people that I would normally reach out to, for services and support, are no longer available. Many of my hobbies have been taken away from me. For example, I love to go to the gym. Over the past couple of months, I’ve been supporting my son and making sure that he’s stable and ok. I’m also struggling with the fact that I can’t provide what he needs because, right now, there’s nothing! So... it’s been difficult! The support system I used to have is now gone. 

As the founder of my own nonprofit organization, I am afraid that we are going to fail. I often wonder, “are we going to be able to provide what we need to families?” Instead of having in-person events, I have reached out to people through the mail. I’ve also shared videos and delivered care packages, notes, letters, etc. Additionally, I periodically make a post on Facebook saying, “Hey guys, we’re still here!” Because people have reached out to me in concern. Their #1 fear is if we close. “Oh my god! Where’s our place going to be?” So, I’ve been reassuring them that we’re still here and, no matter what, we will continue to provide services. Furthermore, many people have reached out to me with donations. We’ve organized a bottle drive. We’ve received a $3000 grant from the government. We’re still here! We’re still going! We’re not going anywhere!”

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Q: What’s the largest misunderstanding people have about children with special needs?

A: “I think that people are afraid, unknowledgeable, and don’t know what to expect. Unfortunately, there are many members of our community that think autistic individuals are mad or acting out. Sometimes, they even think that they are criminals! I hate to say it, but my son has had the police called on him more times than I can count. People also think that children with special needs are not smart. I hate to use the term “dumb,” but that’s what I’ve heard. Individuals with autism just want to fit in and have a normal life. It’s funny because when my son and I were driving home one day, I told him that we had an appointment on December 12th and he knew that it was on a Thursday. I didn’t even know that! Their minds are so intelligent and they all have special interests. One of my favorite quotes is, “once you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person.” Each person is different and has so much to offer the world. They’re kind. They’re not evil like most people try to portray them as. In fact, I think they’re quite the opposite. They’re honest. They don’t lie. The #1 problem is that people are scared because they don’t know much about the disorder. When my son was first diagnosed with autism, I wondered, “what does that mean?” I was afraid because, at the time, I had no idea what autism was. I think that people need to befriend somebody with autism. Then, they’ll be shocked by how honest and kind they are. My son has made me a better person because of his genuine personality.”

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Q: In your opinion, how can we, as a society, move forward from these preconceived ideas? 

A: “The first thing that people need to do is ask. Don’t be afraid! We need to be more accepting and realize that if a person suffers from a physical disability, it is no different than suffering from an “invisible” one. It’s the fear of the unknown! Even if you just learn one or two things about a person with autism, I think that will help you be more understanding and teach you to not judge them. It’s unfortunate because, especially in the past few months, there are so many people that are quick to criticize and judge before they comprehend. When it comes to individuals with autism, you just need to get to know people! For example, when you see a mom in the store and her son is having a tantrum, don’t assume that it’s a bad child… Maybe they need help! Lend a hand! I’ve been in a similar situation myself. My son has taken his clothes off when he was younger. If someone had reached out to me, I would have felt more accepted. I think that’s part of what’s driven me to be who I am today. I want people who have younger children to realize that things can get better. At Forever Friends Network, we always offer a judgment-free zone!”

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Q: What are some of the most challenging/rewarding aspects of raising a child with special needs?

A: “The most challenging part is worrying about my son’s future. Every day, I feel concerned about whether or not he’ll be able to live on his own. My biggest fear, as a mother, is: “who’s going to take care of him when I’m gone?” My son doesn’t have a sibling to rely on. I stress about his future 24/7. It is always lingering in the back of my mind. Brandon has often said to me, “when you die, I’m going to go with you because I don’t know who’s going to take care of me.” I know he worries about that. I have to instill daily living skills in him, so he can grow up and have his own life, however he chooses it to be. After I’m gone, I hope that he’ll be able to go to the grocery store, go to a restaurant, hang out with friends, etc. That is my #1 goal.

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Like I said before, Brandon has truly made me the person I am today. I used to judge people before I had a son. I used to mock and make fun of people (not in a bad or vicious way, but I sometimes laughed at individuals with disabilities). I’m sure that everybody has done that. After having Brandon, he has taught me to appreciate every moment. When I think I can’t do something, I then think of Brandon and wonder, “if he can do it, then I can do it too! If he can get through his day, then there is nothing that I can’t get through!” He loves me unconditionally. He brings me sunshine every day. Sometimes, he can become very aggressive but I always tell him, “Brandon, it doesn’t matter what you do. I am always going to love you!” I think he understands that very much. He brings me happiness. He is the reason I get through the day. He is the reason I am who I am. He’s my inspiration. I’m so proud of him!”

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Q: Is there any additional information you would like to share about you, your work, or other personal experiences that would be helpful for me to know?

A: “People always ask me, “why do you do this? What is the reason that you do this?” The #1 reason that I do this is because I just want families to realize that they’re supported in the community. Sometimes, I think that we all create a village where we are. I just want acceptance. I want people to know that autism can be what you make of it! I think that people need to just realize that there is nothing wrong with being autistic! We are all different and unique in our ways… so let’s just accept! Acceptance is huge. Forever Friends Network is a place where families can go just for two hours, twice a month (along with other social activities that we have) and they can just be who they are. If a 20-year old wants to sit on the floor and play with legos, then they can do it! Who cares?! I like to color and I’m 52 years old!! For two hours, we can sit around and be ourselves, talk mom-to-mom. I’m very proud of what we have.”

Interviewed By Cooper Bond